I have been thinking a lot about hope for the last few days.  First off, we had a sermon on hope on Sunday—part of a four-week series.  It was a good reminder that Jesus Christ is the source of hope for the world.  Without him, we’re in trouble!  Not sure I heard anything revolutionary—I’ve been going to church for 38 years and have heard a few sermons on hope in that time.  But it did attune me to the idea.

The real deal is that I spent about 45 minutes with a friend of a friend yesterday who is in trouble.  This guy is struggling with some mental health issues, not dissimilar from what I have gone through.  He is in the very early stages of diagnosis and getting the right cocktail of drugs to help.  His family life is in trouble—anything like this is more than enough to freak out a spouse and his kids, though they are young, are certainly aware that something is going on.  On top of that he lost his job.  And on top of that, he has to go to the dentist for extensive work today!  From where he sits everything is bad.  And I don’t blame him from feeling that way.

I remember when I was about 6 weeks into treatment.  What a lousy time!  I had taken the first important step of acknowledging that I had a problem, but the solution to that problem seemed out of reach.  I was looking for a magic pill I could take or a breakthrough in therapy that would straighten everything out in short order.  But that wasn’t happening.  All I knew is that I was feeling really, really bad and that relief seemed out of reach.  I remember sitting in my car at the beach, looking out at the ocean and feeling as hopeless as a person could feel. 

But very slowly that changed.  I mean very slowly.  And it wasn’t any single thing that upped my hope quotient.  I think it was a lot of little things.  Counseling started to help a little.  Drugs started to kick in, side effects started to subside and the fog started to clear.  I began, very slowly, to be able to re-engage at home, to start acting like a husband and father.  And really, as those little rays of hope shown through they sparked a sense of hopefulness that I hadn’t had in a very long time. 

So my friend of a friend: I hope our conversation yesterday was a little ray or light that might, in some small way start the process of you finding hope again.  I know enough of your story to fully understand and appreciate the hopelessness that you feel—I have been there.  All I can tell you is that if enough of those little rays break through eventually you will find hope again.  It won’t hit you like a ton of bricks, it won’t be like a flood that washes over you.  It’ll come slowly, but eventually, if you let it, it’ll fill you up. 

So celebrate the little victories (like surviving the dentist) and remember above all that even when everything is black, there is a God out there, that thrives on offering hope in times just like yours.  And he is a God that loves you enough that he is going to pursue you know matter how far away he might seem. Believe it or not, he is standing right next to you with his arm around you letting you know that the two of you can face whatever comes your way together.  What you’re going through doesn’t in any way separate you from him—you can’t shake him.  And what you’re going through won’t, in any way, separate you from him.  So maybe that’ll be another little ray of hope that’ll help to get you through this time.  I’ll be praying that it does.

Filed under: ROOM OF GRACE by toben